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At 30, love feels like a game of musical chairs: If you are a single male from the millennial generation, chances are you spent your 20s like mine: Our knees become sore after playing a pickup game of basketball. We wear casual dress shoes to Sunday brunches in trendy neighborhoods with carefully-designed graffiti.

We no longer dance at nightclubs because we are dancing at weddings.

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In the palm of our hands, our Facebook newsfeed is bombarded with baby pictures. For the first time in your life you feel lonely and incomplete. You sign up for dating sites, hoping to find either The One or anyone. On first dates, you envision a life and starting a family with each woman.

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You have lost yourself. DTM is harmful in many ways. First, it could lead to depression and loss of self-worth. You spend your day Single 30 year old man about love, but because of your disappointments, your hope of finding the woman of your dreams has become an expectation of finding no one at all.

Second, the impatience could lead to fruitless relationships — settling for someone less than what you deserve — or in the most unfortunate scenario, a failed marriage. Settling for the next warm body is not the solution to DTM. The Single 30 year old man Man is constantly growing. He capitalizes his time by learning something new each day.

When he is not at work, you can find him reading at the local bookstore, taking salsa lessons at a studio, or hiking a mountainous trail. He learns from the old and mentors the young.

The Best Man is confident yet humble. He holds a strong sense of identity; he knows who he is and what he wants. He is always qualified, never glorified. He is not a push-over; he sets boundaries and does not tolerate unacceptable behavior. He is not afraid to confront wrongdoing. The Best Man saves for the future.

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He does not care for shopping. Petty materials and luxury are not as meaningful as to financial security for his future: The Best Man is honorable. He is a man of morals, a hero of honor, a don of dignity. He does not play games like deliberately waiting hours to return a text message.

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He speaks only the truth, even if it hurts. He expresses his dating objective early so that he does not lead women on. He treats his body with respect and intends to share it only with his future wife.

The Best Man values relationships. His family always comes first. He is the brother who supports his siblings, available any time they are in Single 30 year old man. He is the guy who all the friends wait to greet and hug when he enters a room. He is the Single 30 year old man who all his friends can trust. The Best Man maintains both mental and physical fitness. He escapes into the wilderness to meditate, to journal, and to reflect on life. He is subscribed to periodicals that keeps him inform on current events.

He champions physical fitness and despite his busy work schedule, he finds time to run and lift weights at the gym. The Best Man is dedicated to his purpose.

A man on a mission, he commits his life to achieving his goals. Whether it is his career or a passion for art or music, he is goal-oriented and is determined to overcome any challenges that are in the way between him and his ambitions.

The Best Man is ready for love. He has years of unspent love and is ready to unload it on one special woman.

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He has learned from the mistakes of his past relationships, determined not to cross the same path. He is not afraid to express his deepening feelings for someone. He is ready for love.

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The story of Narcissus supports my claim. This is not an article to promote conceit; rather its goal is to help you optimize your potential of becoming the Best Man you can be.

You can be the Best Man every day by striving to be a better, wiser, and stronger individual than the one you were the day before. The qualities you develop will attract the influential people and Single 30 year old man exceptional woman you want in your life. So do not be DTM. Do not aim to be the groom.

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Aim, instead, to be the Best Man. A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from.

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By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. A website by Thought. More From Thought Catalog. Dating Cliches In Your 30s. Get our newsletter every Friday! Let's not fall into old stereotypes, but there are many known reasons why men First men who seem like marriage material are rarely single after As years go by, and relationships add up, men just like women, draft.

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