If you dig into the past of a Sociopath, and look at his childhood, almost always there will be an unhealthy relationship between the male sociopath and the mother.
The first relationship that we ever have in life, is the relationship that we have with our mother. In pregnancy, even in the womb, we are connecting with our mother.
It might appear that I am going off tangent. A number of times, there had been abuse of the father towards the mother in childhood, or the mother was neglectful because of her own circumstances.
I strongly believe that these very early relationships between child and mother, particularly with boys and their relationships with their mothers can strongly affect their cognitive developmental learning and how they later treat their future partner. It is the message that is received in childhood.
How the father treats the mother in childhood, and the messages that are received from observing that interaction is important. When the father is abusive towards the mother, when there is neglect, lack of respect, abuse, these are the first lessons that the sociopath learns about how to treat a woman.
When the mother herself, is cold, uncaring, emotionally disconnected, selfish, and the sociopath is striving for the mothers attention and or love, these are the messages that the sociopath understands about how to have a relationship with a woman.
Sociopaths despite contrary opinion, DO feel a connection during sex. It is during sex though, that you will see the other side. Sociopaths can do the following:. Sex can easily achieve both of those things. Whilst ownership, control and winning are important to the Sociopath, as well as fulfilling narcissistic need for ego supply, you will see a switch in the sociopath mentality which can make you feel degraded.
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At first, to woo you into bed, the sociopath will be. This sudden switch, can be very hurtful.
The Sociopath has often put in a lot of energy to woo you and seduce you, and now they have changed and their reactions make you feel worthless. When the male sociopath puts the female victim down, and degrades you after sex, what he is really saying is how he feels about himself. He does think these things, but they are not literally directed towards you. Although it does feel this way. This sense of hatred, is directed elsewhere in his past. Having sex with you, he achieves the ultimate high of winning and control.
Putting you down, ensures that your self esteem is kept low, so that you will not feel confident enough to leave. Deep inside himself the Sociopath is weak and has low self esteem, although he displays no fear, and is outwardly confident, charismatic and cocky. But beneath that outside sheen lies a man who does suffer with insecurities which is why he is so good at playing victim.
As the sociopath can see you as something that they own, a possession or an object, they might lure you back, or sleep with you one last What to do after hookup a sociopath before discarding you altogether.
At this point, you could be reeling, why did he do this? Quite simply, because he could. And because the sociopath always has to end things his way, on his terms its all about control. By sleeping with you one last time, in the sociopaths mind he is discarding you in his own way which is how it makes you feel afterwards. This is a cold, calculated, deliberate act on the sociopaths part. To deliberately discard you. In this circumstance, they would woo you, and lure you back, sleep with you only to walk out of the door, right afterwards.
Almost always they have another source of supply lined up. It has been reported that sociopaths are often good in bed, why is this? Sex to most normal people, is a connection of two people. This is something that can be really confusing when the relationship ends -and also devastating when the sociopath then What to do after hookup a sociopath what you thought was an incredible connection. The connection that the sociopath felt with you, at that time, was real.
For them it was real. They usually enjoy sex, it is the ultimate control and way of possessing someone to the exclusion of others. Of course they enjoyed it. In fact a lot of sociopaths enjoy it almost too much, and want to share this skill with as many women as possible!! It might have seemed that I had gone off on a tangent, describing first of all the relationship with the mother, the father, and then talking about sex.
But it is all interconnected. To discuss the male sociopaths attitude towards women, you need to understand why this is related to childhood, and attitudes that were formed in childhood through.
These first role models in life, in childhood can form strong beliefs and attachments which can continue to replay throughout the sociopaths adulthood. It can set up opinions about worth. What were your experiences? What was the sociopath in your life relationship like with his parents? Mine is constantly asking his mother for her opinion. He asked me and What to do after hookup a sociopath asked his mother and would go with what his mother suggested.
His father always seemed to be either absent or angry- he did now allow his wife sociopaths mother to sit down and take a rest after cleaning the house because he was coming home i could not understand that one. He also always said that his ADD was at fault for being so cold towards me or permanently forgetting things. He used prostitutes for several years without my knowledge and claimed he did not know how many women he had spept with? I am having a hard time getting over all of this- not sure if i can ever trust again.
My ex was treated very coldly by his mother. His father was very controlling. Both treated him badly, he could do no right while his brother could do no wrong.
Would explain why the ex was treated so differently. Mum did finally divorce dad saying she wanted to years before, but stayed because of the kids. I think she became trapped because of the dad taking on and adopting my ex.
Therefore mum subconsciously blamed my ex. Ditto Michelle, he used this as an excuse a lot. It was like dealing with a child in an adult body a lot of the time. I even researched how this was possible since it seemed biologically impossible for a man, especially at 47 yo, to be able to become arroused multiple times What to do after hookup a sociopath an hour and multiple times throughout the day.
Seemed to defy any possibility without medication but of course he said it was me…just looking at me turned him on…and that it was purely mental…made it feel very special, interconnected and extremely rare…that we were together defying the norms…with this being a very deeply rooted bond. There was also a darker side I care not to mention with details that were red flags as well.
Family dynamics were unusual as well with apparently his father What to do after hookup a sociopath away from the family many years ago though remaining married to the faithful wife and still remains living in another town today. However, they are and were depicted as being happily married.
Sociopath being the peacemaker through fathers PTSD and cancer diagnosis feeling as though he remains the peacemaker and continues to be the encouraging factor ensuring that all of his many siblings stay in contact. And being older, needing to have a safe home base from where he can comfortably return after doing as he pleases would be desireable for any man without a moral compass in life.
They will test your boundaries and believe they can devalue, degrade and debase you without properly analyzing the situation.
Messy as they grow older thank god! If only we could form a first wives club! Internet is now an outlet and avenue to share our experiences and begin to heal helping one another not make the same mistakes again!
My ex was adopted by his uncle and Aunt. Can such a story be a catalyseur for him to become a sociopath?
I still can not believe he might be one of them… difficult to accept that i was probably conned and what we had together was all fake. It s unbelievable to me. I have been feeling like a building in syria for months now and i just can not understand how i can feel so miserable for so long just for one Man at 43 years old.
It some times feels like i am insane! It was fantastic, very exciting and he was all over me… such a Charming gentleman… i remember thinking: Hi, yes I think it can be. Background and childhood really can be a determining factor and behaviour, I believe can be a triggered response from earlier treatment in childhood.