There is no doubt about it that the dating world can be hard and a difficult territory to navigate. This Im not sure if we are hookup especially true when we are in our late teens to twenties. With the age of dating apps and non-committal arrangements, the lines get blurred and sometimes it feels like it is impossible to know where we stand with someone. They say that women are the more complicated gender, but there are many men out there that can be just as hard to read.
It is easy to get caught in the trap of him wanting something more casual and the girl wanting something more serious. In order to not hurt your feelings, sometimes they drop hints to us hoping that we will quickly pick on them. If a guy doesn't want to be direct with you, there will be a code talk that he will give you that is subtle. Sometimes it is so subtle to the point where we don't pick up the message altogether. We have made an extensive list of prime examples of what guys say to you versus what they are really trying to say to you.
Don't get too offended or shocked, for the truth will set you free.
In fact, you may even want to consider ditching him after knowing what his real intentions are. It is actually a mellow form of misogyny when men as a collective label women as "crazy" just because they are acting in a way that they don't like.
In fact, it is a form of gas-lighting when your man does disrespectful and inconsiderate things and then labels you a "psycho" when you get upset over it.
If a guy tells you that his ex is crazy, psycho, etc. Of course, there are two sides to every story, and she may have overreacted.
Always remember that all relationships go in two-way streets. Unless he follows up the statement of "my ex was crazy" with a "but to be fair, I did X, Y, or Z" then take this with a grain of salt. It is the hardest thing in the world for a guy to come out and admit how he is really feeling. Society tells boys that they need to "suck it up" or "be a man" and not show any vulnerability. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with women. For a guy to tell you that he loves you is an incredible stepping stone for him especially if he had other options before you.
In today's modern dating world, it is easy for people to believe that there is a better choice just right around the corner.
Just make sure that he actually means it when he says that he loves you. Guy code could say that he loves you but it could just be another form of emotional manipulation.
Remember to pay attention to the actions that say that he loves you rather than just his words. If a guy says that he likes you early on, all that really says is that he likes to be around you and enjoys the energy that you bring to the table. The same could be said about the way he sees his friends or family members that are close to him.
This could be a stepping stone to love, but that is never a guarantee.
If he has to say "I like you" over and over, that means that he wants to keep you around but he still hasn't really made up his mind about you yet. The real non-committal types will tell you "I like you" for years just to string you along thinking "he likes me, so that means he will tell me that he loves me eventually.
Take this phrase in the beginning as flattery but later down the road, take it with a grain of salt.
Never ignore this blatant statement. Any guy who tells you that he isn't looking for a relationship is truly not looking for a relationship. Specifically, he is telling you that he will never get serious or monogamous with you. Don't take this as him trying to build up a wall just to see who will tear it down. Girls tend to do this when they say that they aren't looking for a relationship, but these are not girls we are talking about.
Men are literal creatures and tend to mean what they say. Guys who "aren't looking for a relationship" just want something casual and physical. Furthermore, they are also looking to keep their options open and score with other girls. Believe him wholeheartedly when he says this to you.
At first, this question seems flattering. You are thinking, "Wow, he must think I'm beautiful, intelligent and the whole package. Therefore, he is asking me this because he is so shocked that I am still single. He wants to know if there are Im not sure if we are hookup red flags or "crazy" see the "crazy ex-girlfriend" entry above traits about you that he should be aware of.
This is especially true if he follows up this question with the next question, "what has been your longest relationship? He wants to know about your past behavior so that he can see what he is really getting himself into. Statements like these after he has clearly done something to make you upset are a classic form of gas lighting. Gaslighting is when Im not sure if we are hookup does something on purpose to get a reaction out of you and then turns it around on you as the crazy one when you give them a reaction.
If a guy does something like hit on another girl in front of you or anything else that is disrespectful and then tells you that you are "dramatic" or "crazy" for getting angry with him, then get rid of him stat. Run from these types and avoid them as if they were the plague.
Guy code will have a way demonizing women and accuse them of being the way they are acting. You simply do not need this in your life. There are genuine apologies and then there are fake apologies.
An "I'm sorry" could mean that this is guy code for saying "sorry, not sorry" or it could really just mean that he is sorry. Assuming that it's the latter, what he is saying is that "I'm sorry that you got mad but I'm not really sorry for what I did. This is another classic scenario where you have to watch his actions and not his words.
If he really is contrite, he will alter certain behaviors to make the relationship work. If he doesn't, then he was just saying "I'm sorry" as a way to get you off of his back. When a guy says this to you, that is him trying to get you to dump him. He is being self-deprecating by trying to imply you that he isn't good enough for you. In reality, he just doesn't want to do the work in forming a Im not sure if we are hookup relationship with you.
He knows that his behavior is less than what a girl really deserves in a relationship and he has no desire to up the bar and be a good boyfriend. Some girls will take this as flattery and interpret it as Im not sure if we are hookup think that you are above my league" That is far from what he is really saying.
If he says that you deserve better than him, then he does not see you as a priority. Saying that he is too busy for you just means that he is unwilling to make the time for you. No matter how busy a guy is, he will always make time for his girl if she is someone that he really cares about. If you are seen as something casual or unimportant, then he will just prioritize other things ahead Im not sure if we are hookup you.
This statement is guy code for saying that "you just aren't that terribly important to me" a la Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. If he says that he is too busy with work or school but then you see him check into a bar or do some leisure activity without you on social media, then this statement is just flat out lie rather than a stretched out truth.