We met in March at a social gathering organised by an online international network.
We had a spirited debate about the results of a US survey about poverty and the economic system. We whiled away several hours in passionate argument. However, that was it. We did not exchange phone numbers and did not meet again for months.
It seems odd now that this went nowhere, given that I was attracted to her and there was a spark. When I signed up for another event, she sent me an email saying it would be nice to meet again.
I was impressed by her initiative and confidence and sought her out. This time, I really noticed her and she noticed me. Or perhaps she noticed me noticing her.
It seems embarrassing now, but I think I barely left her side all night. She noticed that, too.
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Anyway, we again parted without swapping numbers I wonder now if I was meant to have taken the lead. However, the next day, during my designated thinking time walking my golden retrieverI decided to ask her out using the Meetup email. And the rest I find older women attractive history, or will be.
In fact, it is my second relationship with an older woman, as my last girlfriend was So it is true I do find older women quite attractive, certainly into their 40s, and that seems to surprise some of my friends. But then I do find year-olds attractive too, so it is not something I have fetishised.
Men my age seem to have an ideal age range of between 20 and 33, but for me it is more like 20 to 45, I suppose. People I meet have mostly managed polite reactions. My previous girlfriend was 12 years older, a warm and passionate Italian woman. I am not looking for someone to look up to.
I am quite forceful and independent and, in a way, that is what I am looking for in a woman. She is fit and very physically active.
Maybe when we are older it will seem like more of a gap. Society seems pre-programmed to find relationships between older men and younger women acceptable.
However, the inverse remains oddly circumscribed. Apparently, for a young man to be attracted to an older woman, it has to be either a a fetish or b a sugar-mummy. Well, I have fallen prey to neither and am in a relationship with a beautiful, engaging and funny woman. We come from very different backgrounds and yet make each other laugh and have a very fulfilling physical relationship.
Let me count the ways in which we are different: Perhaps most significantly, she is a north Londoner and I am a south Londoner. And yet the aspect of our relationship that causes the most surprise is that she happens to be several years older. The age gap is apparent when we talk about world events, music, films, etc.
In a strange way, though, this is just another difference.
In fact, it is an asset and not a liability. My family, who are a reasonably open-minded lot, are, like the rest of British society, not bowled over by the idea of their twentysomething son being with a thirtysomething woman.
Famously, Indians are very marriage-focused and the man is generally expected to be about a year older. Our situation is in egregious contravention of Indian social mores. I get puzzled looks whenever it comes up and a few of my friends seem genuinely amazed I could choose that way.
This is not entirely unreasonable, of course. This may be true of some, but is clearly not true of all. Out of all those differences in our relationship, we definitely agree on something: As Oscar Wilde said: I did not make a conscious decision to go out with an older woman. She looked younger than Topics Relationships The Observer.
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Loading comments… Trouble loading? Millions of single, beautiful young women are wondering why men find older women attractive.
Even though we all look at these relationships. There are older women that are still attractive, but it's not at all in the same way that women find older men attractive.
The older women that are. In fact, it is my second relationship with an older woman, as my last girlfriend was So it is true I do find older women quite attractive, certainly.
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