What does "taking it slow" mean to you when it comes to dating? Is this something that one should take as a good thing or as a sign that youre not that into it?
If I suggest taking it slow, it means that I don't want any real level of commitment for now. I'm still probably down to bang ASAP.
If she suggests taking it slow, it probably means that she doesn't want to have sex with me for a while. Like What does taking it slow in a relationship mean without intercourse. Not seeing each other all that often less than once a week. I took it slow with my current SO at first by seeing him twice and week and talking on the phone once a day, maybe some sporadic texts in between.
After a few months we got to know each other better and spent more time together. Fucking on the 3rd date instead of the 1st. For me it means not rushing into sex it can happen whenever but it should be spontaneous and mutually desiredgetting to know about the person and their style of relating, getting to know about some of their hurts, hangups and triggers, and setting mutual expectations about what we want from the relationship.
A girl recently asked me if I would date her and I paused for a second and said "We should talk about a potential relationship. This is in contrast to my 20's when I would be doing backflips if a pretty girl asked me such a question.
Attraction is still important, but I see the getting to know you phase as vital whereas before it was mostly a sidequest. It took a backseat to chemistry at the time. For me, it What does taking it slow in a relationship mean exclusivity since I'm choosing to invest that time into one person. To me it means going slow physically and emotionally. Not seeing each other that often, not hooking up for at least dates, etc.
In my experience if one person wants to go slow it usually doesn't even happen and we fuck on the second date or something. A woman told me that once. I went to kiss her at the end of the night and she gave me her cheek. Never called her back and she never contacted me. Mind you my experience with dating is pretty limited for someone my age 25 and especially compared to the girl I'm currently dating. I've been seeing her for 5 weeks around 10 dates in total and slept a few times together. When I brought up the potential for a future relationship together she said that she had hopes for it but just wasn't ready to commit at the moment.
She said she wanted to take it slow because her past experiences ended up badly and she didn't feel comfortable enough to commit herself fully to someone else right now. On one hand I get it.
On the other I don't. I don't mind waiting, but how slow is "slow"?
We kissed on our first encounter which wasn't an actual date. She wanted to sleep with me after our 2nd and 3rd date and I made her wait. And now when we see each other it's always a blast but I always feel like I'm much more committed to bringing this relationship a step further than she is even tho she's giving me every signal What does taking it slow in a relationship mean is that she's falling me for and telling me that she is. She's also texting me everyday and always the first one to call.
Depends on the context, I suppose. I see a lot of people saying it's a lack of commitment. In the case of my fiance and myself, we jumped to commitment pretty damn fast and we both considered this a little unhealthy as we were smart enough to know there's a possibility of being burned and that we hadn't known each other long enough for it to be right. So we made a conscious effort to slow things down via milestones.
We still moved a little fast but we were conscious of it and were able to make plans that could have helped us avoid potential pitfalls, like if we moved in together we still had separate rooms for the first 3 or so years.
I actually recommend this as it will take pressure off the both of you if you want a LTR. Once you have sex, things can become complicated. I think it's great unless it's not based on fear of trusting. If it comes from a place of sincerely wanting to know the other it's a sign of maturity. I actually happened to meet my current SO a week or two at most before hanging out in person. She came over- we had sex and then it seemed to blossom into a full blown relationship within a month.
One of my desires for when I meet a girl I plan on seriously dating is to wait for sex.