Thanks for reading this post! More recently, I write books, here and here host a podcast and you can look around the site to check out the retreats I host for women, as well How we got asshole cheater the private work and group classes I host.
I started dating right away. I was heartbroken, vulnerable, and yes, a little desperate. At first I met some nice, normal guys. I managed to find the guy that mirrored what I was: We were quite a pair. And a few months into the relationship, he cheated on me.
I remember crumbling in a heap in my bedroom the moment I found out.
After the second time in a row being cheated on not to mention a very, very tumultuous relationshipI knew something was wrong with what I was doing. Being cheated on is the ultimate betrayal. But, when it happened to me twice in a row, I was How we got asshole cheater to take a long, hard look at myself, what I was choosing, what I was putting up with and what I learned.
Here are some of the goodies I learned:. I joined the club a long time ago! My wife moved back to the east coast with our two year old son to finish school. The plan for her was to finish school, move back to CA, and seek a good paying job. Her mother lived out there as well, so childcare was pretty much taken care of. The whole time How we got asshole cheater was out there she told me school was awesome, and she was doing good.
To make a long story short, her sister had told me that my then wife was living with another guy, dropped out of school, and pretty much neglected our son.
I went through a roller coaster of emotions. I sought help from my folks, close friends, lawyers, and even stared down a couple of empty bottles of booze. I think I have told you this before, maybe.
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I got a lawyer, filed for divorce, and sought full custody of my son. It was a drawn out lengthy court battle, and pretty much wiped my bank account clean. It sucks flying to the east coast to go to court, did 8 round trips. Some trips were fly in, go to court, fly back all in the same day.
Draining physically, and mentally. It all paid off, and ended up working in my favor. I know all relationships do not work out, as I have witnessed amongst friends, and mine personally. You have to have a mentality to move How we got asshole cheater in life, instead of sitting down in the reeking shit your partner left you to sit in.
I commend you, Andrea. It takes a lot of guts to open up, and tell the world your personal stories. My story is similar, my ex led a double life, right in front of my nose though. Awesome for you that it worked out in your favor and that someone told you what was going on.
My sister was the one that uncovered it all for me too. I feel for you!
It's extremely confusing because you...
I was in a relationship for almost 4 years and then found out that he was leading a double life. He married another girl 3 years into our relationship.
When I ended up talking to her, I found out they had been together for 10 years. I looked back at old emails and found out that he had spoken to me several times ON his wedding day and from his honeymoon.
Glad you have moved forward! I was married 33 years married at 19 and raised 3 children with this man, only to find out he was cheating with his bimbo secretary. I worked in our family business next to him for 20 years and then we decided together, although later he changed his storyit was my turn How we got asshole cheater do what I had aspired to do many years before, be a preschool teacher.
I went back to college, got my degree and went to work at a wonderfully run church How we got asshole cheater. He moves out the day after Christmas. I do the most self-loathing things; I quit my job to work with him again, buy all kinds of sexy clothes and try to win him back. What follows is a nightmare that is still going on today. A family, both immediate and extended, shattered and estranged, his professional and personal reputation damaged, and emotional distruction seemingly beyond repair.
I put my faith in Karma that she will get hers. Andrea, your input has really given me strength and it is eye opening that my thoughts and feelings are mirrored in yours. Carol, thank you so, so much for your story.
"My ex's excuse (the second...
I too have been cheated on in my relationships and now am dating a man that has female friends. As far as I can tell, there is nothing going on their, just friendships. But it still makes me nervous.
How do you go about moving forward in your life when you have been so hurt and how do you distinguish between having intuition and having fear? My best suggestion is to follow your intuition. Such as, if your partner has framed pictures up of he and his female friends and it bothers you, let him know in a non-defensive manner and hopefully he can understand. Girl, you are a strong-hearted, amazing woman.
I guess I can be grateful for being cheated on so many times, right? Its been two emotional months since I found out my ex of 3years cheated on me and got someone else pregnant. Ive come a long way in the past months.
How we got asshole cheater I experience and learn something different about myself. One day im strong the next im a mess. Its okay though, because no matter how much I still care for my ex or how much I miss him.
It doesnt change the fact that this traumatic event has happened. Thank you for sharing your experience and your helpful coaching! I bet you never imagined you would be where you are at NOW, back when you were going through being cheated on.
I love you Andrea! You should be so happy for yourself!
I had chosen to stay...
Oh My God, this happened to me to! My now-ex married his girlfriend behind my back when we had been together one year. I found out and called her and dropped the bomb. He begged me to take him back, that he would divorce her and said that it was all a mistake. I took him back, for another two years. Found out last weekend that he is still married and living with her! So now I have left him for good, How we got asshole cheater he shows no regret.
I feel so ugly and worthless after being treated like a doormat. Will I ever learn? Will I ever be in a healthy relationship? Your last comment really, really hit home for me. Thank you for your inspiration. This has really inspired me to make a decision so I can move on with my life.
I just recently found out that my husband of 4 years was cheating on me.
Cheating men who do nothing...
It went on for about 8 months before I did a lil investigating and found out for myself that this was goin on. We have a 7 year old son together and we both have a kid from our previous relationship but we are all living together. I just need to be strong and listen to my intuition and make a decision. He got really drunk one night and kissed a girl he used to work with a month ago he works in a nightclub. I know everyone he works with we all get along great, that included the girl that he kissed.
If I was the best thing that ever happened to him how could he betray me like this? I just went through my mans phone tonight and found where he has been lying. When he was supposedly out at his boys house with just a couple guys there were actually females there How we got asshole cheater.
And he sent his bit a text saying to let one of the girls know he wanted her. When I confronted him he laughed at me and took off. I was cheated on by my boyfriend of 3 years.
I just found out a few days ago. My friend and I met up with him and a friend at a bar to watch a baseball game, he knew I was going and allowed me to walk into a horrible situation.
I just ran out of the bar and havent spoken to him since. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him, his insecurities, and his pathetic issues. I should have realized long before I put in the effort to try and care again, but I guess I ignored MY intuition.
If life was a video game, they'd be the asshole kid with the turbo controller who can't ever lose. Meanwhile, the rest of us have to watch them.
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Often, we assume that cheaters have a pathology, some unresolved trauma or dysfunction, or at best a form of emotional immaturity, that. "My ex's excuse (the second time he cheated) was that I didn't have time forgave him because he wasn't an asshole outside of the cheating.
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