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This one has a lot of "you had to be there-isms" as far as facial expressions and indescribable awkwardness, but here goes. My little brother and I, aged 14 and 12, roughly, were in NY City visiting relatives. My brother is hard of hearing - he's not deaf, but he rarely reacts to people talking to him unless they're making eye contact. The guy makes a kind of cheese-dick smile and says "heh It was pretty glorious.
This happened to me this week actually, I was walking home from work down a very busy main road not paying attention to much and there was a guy dressed all in black standing in my way. Assholes making out in public went to move round him and he blocked me.
He grabbed me by the collar and said "Give me your fucking wallet". I was a bit taken aback, "What? He just stood there, looked at me a bit stunned, pushed me out of the way and ran off. Most surreal experience of my Assholes making out in public, I have no idea why I said that to him.
An old man with a cane starts his slow hobble across the street just as the light is starting to change, so he's standing right in front of a BMW when it turns green. The suit behind the wheel honks at the old man, who stops walking, turns, and bangs a fist on the hood of the car. Suit looks pissed and honks again, old man bangs his fist again and keeps walking.
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Suit opens the door and jabs an accusatory finger and yells "HEY! I was waiting for the airbag to go off Who is the asshole in this story? The old man for being grumpy and not giving a fuck he was blocking traffic or the bmw driver for yelling at a senior? But for what it's worth, an old person with a cane trying to get across a busy intersection is something we could all be.
If being slower than a streetlight is all the justification one needs to yell at him, I'd say that pretty much make the BMW driver the asshole. This instantly brought to mind a comment on B3ta from 4 years ago!
I did this in Germany once to a policeman. Eventhough my german is perfectly fine, needless to say he told me to move along after I complimented him on his english. I have yet to meet a German who won't be thrilled and delighted if you compliment them on their fluency in a foreign language. I think this may be their third most popular national passtime.
After brewing and auto engineering. Well of course, they Assholes making out in public all their resources back in the 40's sending large numbers of their citizens to other countries just to learn the local languages.
A few years ago I went on this trip with this girl and her Assholes making out in public to Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire, and then we went to her cousin's wedding in Jersey on the way back.
The trip was turning out to be a disaster, since this girl had turned into an evil demon of a person, basically alienating me the entire time in front of her family. So by the time we got to the rehearsal dinner, I was on edge.
After the rehearsal dinner, everyone went to the hotel bar to relax and have a couple drinks, and then another wedding party showed up. This one guy in the other group starts harassing people in the group that I was in, to the point that he was basically ruining the night for the two families. Finally he looks at me and he goes "WHAT?! So I immediately start walking towards him with what I can only describe as true rage.
As I got to about 2 feet away from this guy, I looked him directly in the eyes, and I said "What is your fucking problem? You are here for a wedding! If you say one more thing to anyone in my party, I swear to God I will Assholes making out in public the living shit out of you until you can not walk anymore, so turn the fuck around and shut the fuck up! The only thing I could see when I said that was the fear in his eyes. The guy immediately turns around, and in this wimpy deflated voice goes, "what an asshole!
Later that night I packed my shit up in the dark around 4am, dipped out on the evil demon girl, asked the Assholes making out in public to get me a taxi, and caught a train home, leaving her all alone at the wedding. Haven't talked to her since. My younger brother Rory is a smart guy. He's not the bookworm that I am, but he's better with people.
Unfortunately, he has horrible taste in women and would rather be in a bad relationship than be alone. This is his story, not mine. A couple of years ago he was dating this little blonde whose only virtues were a pretty face, a nice ass, and a willingness to go out with him.
We'll call her Lauren. My wife and I met Rory and Lauren for dinner one night.