As yet another celebrity marriage seems to have bitten the dust with Blurred Lines Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton announcing their split after twenty years, the question of how to recover from an affair seems more and more apt.
While it's not clear what was the actual cause of the couple's parting, there have been many rumours of indescretions on Robin's part and few things compare with the pain of betrayal. Then, overnight, with a confession or a discovery, that bubble bursts.
And boy does it burst with a bang. Some couples do survive infidelity but only if both of you honestly think the relationship is worth it and the guilty person is prepared to do everything it takes to win back your trust and love. This will help you decide and guide you through the process of recovery.
Are they worth another chance? Have they cheated on other people in the past? No second chances in this case. A one-off incident with seemingly genuine reasons to explain it is a lot easier to forgive than repeated slip-ups or a long-term affair.
When it comes to cheating a one-off incident is a lot easier to forgive than repeated slip-ups or a long-term affair. Put yourself in their shoes: Can you understand it? What do you think they will do if they're in the same predicament in the future? If there were no clues last time round, how will you know if it happens again?
Give each other space.
Your first reaction will be to want to cling onto him and not let him out of your sight. There are two things you need to establish at this point: If you live together, get him to move out for a few days.
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You need this time to logically sort through your emotions. Start a diary of all your emotions and your questions and use it make a list of questions you need answers to at the end of the time apart.
This is a meeting to decide if there is enough worth saving. Warn your partner there are lots of questions you still need answered.
If they're not prepared to answer them, forget it. If they are, start asking. Tracey says that if you didn't notice that anything was wrong, it can be desperately hard to trust again.
Build a new relationship. Your old relationship, the damaged one, is dead. You now need to build a new one. It may well end up even better than the first in lots of ways! You will feel insecure and you will feel angry. You will fight about it, over and over, to begin with. To get through it, you need to set some rules for the new relationship.
These are specific to you two but you might want to think about things like telling each other where you are all the time, checking in during periods that might be hard for you to cope with, sending lots of reassuring texts.