Last Thursday I picked my 5-year-old up from kindergarten and she informed me that she has a boyfriend.
Evidently, when you are 5 small details like names are not important when it comes to relationships. As adults, some of us continue to struggle with knowing what is important in a significant other.
Like so many young adults, I chased the experience of dating, grew addicted to the highs and lows of dysfunctional relationships, and suffered through bringing these bad habits into my marriage. Monica and I seem to be an exception, as so many with similar stories have very different endings. I see clear patterns of what works, and what ends terribly.
I see how awful compromises of morals and logic are made when strong feelings get in the way. Men, strive to develop these qualities, by trusting fully in Christ and submitting to His Spirit.
Women, look for a man with these qualities. Men, look for these things in a woman.
You want to marry a guy who is: Rebellious guys might grab your heart for a moment, but they will not lead you or themselves well. You want someone who will admit that he is not always right, and be willing to change when others point that out to him. Does he listen to others and yield to wisdom?
Does he say what he means and do what he says? Does he go out of his way to speak with whole, complete, and concentrated truth?
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Without honesty, you cannot trust what he says—including when he says he will commit to you in marriage. Is he nice to others around him?
Does he think of your needs, and the needs of others, ahead of his own? Is he generous and willing to share his possessions and time with others?
Is he willing to wait for good things?
Does he value you enough to wait for you? Will he stand for what is right when it is difficult, embarrassing, or unpopular?
Will he stand up to protect you? Can he control his strength, and balance it with grace? A diligent person can be counted on to provide.
Does he work hard? This insinuates a reputation. Anyone can fake the things on this list when trying to impress a girl.
Does he have a reputation consistent with these character traits? Christ should be the focus of his life.
This looks like yielding to His word, being prayerful, living in community, and being committed to a body of believers. If this is there, will be too.