Starting a conversation with that cute girl could seem so scary. But it doesn't have to be. Here are 5 simple steps to get her attention.
So you've set up an online dating profile. You've been browsing around. You see some girls you like. Now it's time to talk to them. Putting yourself out there is scary. You don't want to seem boring, stupid, or worse, creepy. You start to overthink and all of a sudden, your fingers lock up and you end up saying nothing.
Yes, it can feel terrifying. But how are they supposed to know you exist if you don't initiate contact? You're passing up the possibility of a meaningful relationship. You will continue to never get over your fears and stay exactly where you are.
However, if you do decide to take the leap, you never know where it could go. In a worst-case scenario, she won't reply and you may feel a bit disappointed. But you'll get over it. In a best-case scenario, you may meet someone really cool.
So how do you go about starting a conversation that may actually lead somewhere? Here are some good tips. For one, you can make your profile so compelling that girls will be making the first move to talk to you but don't lie either, which we'll get into next! But on a more serious note, here are some major advantages of meeting online.
Online profiles already tell you about a girl's interests. You can use that as conversation starters.
You already know the girl is single and hopefully the profile also says what kind of relationship she's looking to find. You have time to craft a unique opener. And chatting online gives you time to type interesting responses. If you say something dumb, the embarrassment isn't as much as chatting in person.
The first thing to do is to have the strongest profile possible. It doesn't matter how compelling your message might be, the first thing she'll want to see are your pictures, interests, who you are, and what you're looking for in a relationship.
Think about the kind of hobbies and activities that you want to share with another person. Explain why you're looking for a meaningful relationship in a genuine way.
Don't just say you have a sense of humor - demonstrate that you do by using a funny reference, quote or comment. Have a strong opening profile statement about yourself that sums up who you are in a sentence. Be honest about what you're looking for in a relationship and what kind of women you like. You enjoy a night out sampling tapas just as much as a night in watching movies with wine.
Bonus points if you love pit bulls. Don't say that you're funny and smart. Say things that are funny and smart that show who you are.
I live in a lovely, two-bedroom apartment down by the river. Pick photos that show your hobbies, pets, family and friends. Essentially, your photos should give someone a snapshot of your life. Do you scuba dive or like hiking with your dog? OkCupid has done studies about which kind of profile pictures get the most response.
They found that for men, the most effective photos by a long shot are when they're looking away from the camera and not smiling. And photos with animals are the most successful. Surprisingly, that is followed by ab photos though this is only recommended for young men under 31 with abs to showfollowed by photos of doing something interesting.
Do pick-up lines even work? Girls have heard every line in the book. You may How to start a good conversation with a girl online starting a conversation with "Hi" or "Hello" is nice and friendly, but that's quite possibly the most boring opener ever.
OkCupid found that "Hi," "Hey," and "Hello" do the worst. Even more slangy greetings like "Hola," "Howdy," and "What's up" do much better. Look, girls get a lot of messages. So unfortunately for you, that means you're going to have to be unique. Be original and make her feel like you "get" her:. Talk about common interests on her profile page. Are you sure you didn't steal my profile? If you don't have any common interests but still like herask a question unique to her expertise or interest, whether the question is serious or not.
This is a matter of national security so you'll need to provide a compelling argument. Is she wearing a shirt with a picture of a band or does she have a favorite movie or show on her profile? Use a line or lyric as a reference that can make her laugh.
If you can't think of anything to say, own it. Just say, "Sorry, this is really awkward. I wanted to get to know you but I couldn't think of something clever to say, so can we just pretend that I did and go from there? Write with correct grammar and spelling. Don't sound uneducated and lazy. In other words, no net-speak! U shud nvr write like this lol OKCupid has found that short messages at around characters around 40 words get the best response rate.
Remember, the goal of the first message is to start a conversation with her. You don't have to write your whole life story or talk about every interest you share.
This goes back to avoiding pick-up lines and copying and pasting icebreakers at all costs. A relationship is only going to be meaningful if you make it mean something.
The conversation isn't about you. So don't just talk about yourself. It's about her and why she is unique. You can only discover that by listening. Don't use the same lines for every girl. Tailor each message specifically to each girl. Trust me, girls know when they've been sent a generic message. Listen and respond to what she talks about based on her interests. Ask thoughtful follow-up questions.
Write in a way that matches her personality.
If she's funny and likes to joke around, tease her back. If she's smart, have an intelligent chat. If she's honest and straightforward, be honest too and tell her what you're looking for. Ask an open-ended question that speaks to her personality. Write something unique that will get her attention. If you were building a fortress for a zombie apocalypse, where would you build it and why?
Avoid yes or no questions. Those are real conversation killers.
Instead of asking "Do you like watching shows? Come on, everyone has guilty pleasures. I admit I keep up with the Kardashians. OKCupid did another study about what works best in first messages. They found that words like "You mention," "good taste," "I noticed that," and "curious that" engage the most interest. It shows that you've read her profile. Know your strengths and play them up.
And let's cool your ego for a moment: A woman on her couch typing out these online dating questions to Now it's time to start talking. And that's where things can get a little tricky. For those of you who have a hard time coming up with a good conversation starter. How to Start a Text Conversation with a Girl.