Big community funding update! Married in a Catholic church?
What was Pre-Cana like? July 23, 5: I've looked online and found very vague descriptions and I'd really like to know what we're going to be involved in. Especially interested in the FOCCUS test they have you take I haven't been able to find sample questions and I really want to know what What does pre cana mean of things they ask to see if you are 'compatible'.
Please share as much as you can or are comfortable with. It's been about 8 years since I did Pre-Cana, I'll do my best. Don't worry about the "right" answer re: Your priest will go over any areas of potential concern if you and your fiance have any glaring differences, but he's not going to tell you not to get married. We had one Pre-Cana day, vs ongoing classes.
Sexy what does pre cana mean xxx pics
There was some writing letters to the spouse, silly games a la The Newlywed Gamemarried folks talking about things like keeping romance alive, children, sex, etc. It wasn't a bad day, although we did have a lot of eye-rolling between us. It ended with a big dinner with all the couples, both in the class and leading it.
I think, overall, it's just a good way What does pre cana mean make sure you've had some of the conversations that every soon-to-be-married couple should have. Wow, I just did this - and by just, I mean a few months ago. I'm agnostic, and my now-wife is.
We lived together before we got married - that's the background. We went in the first day to talk to the priest, and he gave us the test in two different rooms. There was a large, general section, as sub-sections for people that had been married before nopeWhat does pre cana mean living together yepor were of different faiths yep. The questions were basically a statement, followed by if you agreed or disagreed. Some examples that I remember off the top of my head: I would be comfortable naked in front of my spouse.
I believe God is important in our relationship. I don't think that we should share banking accounts. It ranges from the mundane to the rather racy racy for the Catholic church, I thought. It's really harmless, in the end. You get a print out a few months later, What does pre cana mean you what you and your future spouse said to each question, and whether you matched up. And although they'll tell you there are no wrong answers, they actually do mark off a few questions where the Catholic church has an "important" answer.
For example, even though my wife and I marked that we didn't believe that God was an important part of our relationship, it was still marked as "something to watch" because the church said that it should be. This can either be with the priest that's overseeing this, or with a sponsor couple. You won't find a copy online - it's copyrighted, and held close to the chest.
If you MeMail me, I think I managed to get out our set of questions for just such an occasion. Also, we did a Pre-Cana weekend - it sucked. Utterly useless if you've discussed anything at all with your significant other.
We were locked in for 2 days and sat through skits and dialogue sessions. The way ours was set up was in 60 minute chucks: My wife and I would write with some length, then go to our "response room" and talk about other random things after glancing What does pre cana mean our sheets and realizing we'd basically said the same thing.
Like ferociouskitty said, there was a lot of eye-rolling. Especially at the sex part. I didn't need to hear a meek 45 year old man talk about charting his wife's "monthly bleed. I know why it's there - especially in Catholicism, the belief is that once you get married, that's it. So you'd better be prepared, What does pre cana mean get everything on the table to begin with.
My wife and I aren't quite on that page, but honestly, these are conversations you should have, and this is just a way to force you to have them. Honestly, my wife and I could have written this question in November. We were downright panicky at the idea that this test was going to derail us, we weren't going to be able to be married in the Catholic Church, and her parents would disown her. We went in not knowing the questions, and we basically matched up anyways. Those damned things led to me mismatched answers than anything else.
Best Wishes, Good Luck! Basically it was a bunch of questions with possible answers of "Yes", "No", or "Maybe". The vast majority of questions were very practical in terms of children, budgeting, goals, sex and interpersonal relationships. Our Pre-Cana day was a 1 and half day thing and it was muchliked what ferociouskitty described.
The talks were oddly cold because non-pro public speakers were reading their speeches to us so while they were clearly emotional moments for them it seemed distant and robotic to us.
The What does pre cana mean part of this stuff was that it gave you some structure to discuss topics with your future spouse Just if there's any confusion I actually took that test last week, as my fiancee was raised Catholic and I've agreed to be married in her family's church.
Their approach appears to be different from ferociouskitty's experience in that they pair an engaged couple with a married couple in the church rather than having an organized class. We haven't begun that part of it yet so I can't speak to its effectiveness. As for the test, I would not worry about it. As it was explained to us, the point is more to find differences in expectation than to get anything "right. There were a few token questions that were kind of amusing, but they seemed to be more weed-out questions to see if someone may be getting married for the wrong reasons.
There were also sections that are only filled out if you are getting remarried, if you're cohabitating, and if one of the engaged are not Catholic.
I filled out the second two, neither of which was especially intrusive. I recently went through this entire process as I just got married in June. I'll preface this by saying that overall, I think the Pre-Cana process was overwhelmingly positive for my wife and What does pre cana mean.
The goal is to have as few "do not know" answers as possible, since this means the two of you have already had discussions on that topic. It kind of broke down into five recurring themes: From the time we had taken the test in November to the time we reviewed the answers with our priest in Februarywe moved ahead and bought a house.
So the answers were a snapshot of where we stood in November, but it was clear that we had many discusses about finances in those three months and were in a much different place then. As far as Pre-Cana, we had done a one day event at a local Church.
It was led by 2 older couples each married 30 years who talked about What does pre cana mean, communication, communication, and sexuality. Very honest, engaging conversation about their experiences being married and again, raising points for my wife and I to discuss and have conversations about.
The most important thing that this whole process stressed was communication and methods of achieving better communication. They presented us with a list of topics that every couple should talk about and made sure we were talking.
I think my wife and I already had good communication but this certainly brought up a few things that we hadn't discussed openly. All told, our relationship is What does pre cana mean for this process.
It is an excellent form of pre-marriage couples therapy, I think and I hope your process is as good as mine was. Please contact me directly if you have any questions. I did mine nine years ago. The test was easy and had little to do with religion. My husband and I actually had a near perfect match on everything. One question that tripped us up was "I am uncomfortable with how much my partner drinks".
My husband marked that as he agreed which confused the heck out of me since I don't drink at all. Nope, he just misunderstood the question. Our church had difficulty with finding leaders for the pre-cana so the priest had four hour-long sessions with us.
I think we told him the baby would be born before the wedding at the last session he didn't know we were pregnant. Having a guy that has never lived with What does pre cana mean or had to share finances or make normal financial decisions like buying a house or car or retirement planning is NOT very useful. I just played along. I was raised Catholic but am atheist yeah, I lied to the priest and said I believed in god - it's not like I am going to burn in hell for that and my SO was an un-observant Protestant and took it much more seriously than me.
The Priest harped on our different religions ALOT - he was quite opposed What does pre cana mean our marriage, tried to tell us that six months notice was not enough to get married in his church and refused to read the banns for us because it was a "mixed marriage" even though I am the product of a mixed marriage my parents are still together.
The test was actually the best part of it, I wish we had been given a copy of our answers. It would be fun to re-take the test to see what has changed. I really have nothing but positive things to say about the test and have encouraged non-Catholic to try to get tested before marriage because so much communication comes from it.
I also had a fairly positive experience with it if for nothing else than just laughing with my wife about how much of a dork out priest was--sounds snarky, yes. Personally I think way too many people get married without knowing each other very well, and pre-cana's designed to help with this as well as to let the Church make a pitch to you as to why its ideas of marriage are important. The "test" questions may be very useful for you, depending on what the two of you have already talked about.
Some people, for example, never talk about money and then get married and realize their spouse is in debt or has wild spending habits. Getting this out in the open beforehand helps. There are also questions about having children and disciplining children that the two of you should talk over.
Wow, I just did this - and by just, I mean a few months ago. . I do not remember natural family planning as part of my pre-cana, maybe they. So, many of you have heard of this thing called Pre-Cana. Still, it would definitely make our parents happy if we were married in the church. Couples are immersed in Theology of the Body (TOB) throughout the marriage prep course.